


Play it one more time... just once more

by LeviOfAsgard667



Category: Cowboy Bebop, anime - Fandom, otaku - Fandom, some implied yaoi, some rival shipping, spike spiegel - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Mind Cinema, Multi, implied Yaoi, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 09:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9813983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeviOfAsgard667/pseuds/LeviOfAsgard667
Summary: Spike reflects on his relationships what all led up until now. While he has some unneeded downtime and wondering if his mind would play it again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Brooding/implied yaoi 
> 
>  
> 
> I do not own these characters

 

It had been uneventful these past few days onboard the Bebop nothing really to do since no new bounties had been issued so everyone just sat around. And surprisingly enough everything was calm and everyone was calm which is a rare deal in and of itself. In plain black slacks with fluffy green hair reddish eyes unfocused laid Spike. Arms behind his head and in his own world someone could land sword fish II behind him right now and he wouldn't notice, lately he'd been thinking of the various people he's met from all of this vast star system. The memories like small movies in his mind details vivid crisp and clean it made the bounty hunter wish some had lived longer that he'd known some just a little bit longer. Instead of them being only memories living eternally in his mind even though there physically gone but the impact each one made on his life is something Spike held onto.

He thought back to Venus to the all to gung ho young man with a desire to be stronger and help his friend he just went about it in all the wrong ways. How Spike had told him he had to be like water explaining said technique to him in a grassy area on a partly cloudy day. But of course this particular guy had to be taught the hands on way so Spike had told the latter to come at him with a knife. When he did however the Martian had effortlessly flipped him on his back effectively stunning the young man. He told him "you're tense I'm calm you apply excessive for and I control that force through fluid motion, that means relaxing the body so it can move effortless without resistance and without thought." It turned out he'd been involved with a crime group to get a rare plant that would cure a woman's blindness. The boy had been naive but likeable when that inevitable confrontation happened said guy had been mortally wounded and died before medical help could arrive. Teaching Spike even the best intentions cant overcome bad decisions made to try accomplish those goals "Rocco." The movie of his encounter with that man from Venus faded with him sitting up saying "maybe but than again maybe not" with a confused look upon his face.

Spike smiled sadly at the memory too many people had died in his life not all so naive though some were hardened and cold. A bad dream he could never wake up from seemed to describe his ex best friend his former lover and bitter rival perfectly but that lead to another person seemingly caught in the misfortune accused of being a spy than given an addictive drug in prison which ultimately through his body out of whack. Another lover dead at his feet vengeance had fueled him to confront the man there paths crossing by happenstance alone thanks in small part to Faye that nice man forced to become cold because he trusted the wrong person. This had been on Callisto a bitter cold planet where outsiders where not well treated. He'd met a woman from his very own past and so there lives where connected its a funny thing how these situations work out. He died while trying to kill the very man who betrayed him subsequently ruining his life but not before asking a request from the bounty hunter to tow his battered ship so he can return to Titan. "Gren" the cinematic memory faded with the frail man slumped in his seat black hair over his face eyes closed and smiling warmly. That memory hits him harder because it brings up old feelings from his past painful feelings. The feelings he had for the man and for the man'/ killer.  It seems there lives had been entwined before they had even met. Silver hair and cold eyes ghosted in his mind his ex lover and former partner in the syndicate his most bitter the bounty hunter doesn't let it taint his memory of the kind hearted Gren keeping it preserved he'd learned sometimes innocent people are dragged into hell for no reason simply because it had been convenient to the person dragging them in.

It would seem a lot of his memories are sad never just happy but that just seems to be almost every memory he's ever had. It makes a man cynical but you can let it change you for the good or for the worst either way he hadn't decided on which one he was in it all. And maybe he never would when all things were considered everything from his past and present as well as everything in between. Flashes of faces people he'd only had small interactions with circled it seemed insignificant to care about and remember each and every face.

Those same memories he wouldn't want to loose though because they made him who he is. Spike didn't want to end up as Vincent Volaju who had wandered aimlessly through life the victim of an experiment by the government of his own home planet. He had tried to escape what the raven haired male perceived as a purgatory by killing everyone else hoping it would lead him to the gate of the heavens. With his memory erased and listed as dead but not able to die himself he'd come to think of his existence as being stuck between both heaven and hell unable to move between the two. Those precious memories ripped away from him becoming a enemy just so he could finally escape to find those memories again some proof he was really alive in the first place. He wasn't a bad guy in the beginning but he was made that way betrayed by people he trusted in. The common theme of some kind of betrayal evident in almost every sad memory.

Sighing Spike thought of his past before bounty hunting he hadn't been afraid of dieing killing came easily he worked for the syndicate after all. On Mars Mao had taken himself and another under his wing and made than into what they were. Annie, Mao, Lin, Shin, Julia and Vicious people from the bounty hunter's past that have all come back into his life one way or another. "A bad dream I could never wake up from" that had been what Spike said to the silverette after he's confronted him in a cathedral in Mars if anything there fight had been for him to avenge his former mentor. Ironically there fighting had started over a woman with blonde hair Julia who had been the other connection to Gren. Tipping him off to Vicious' trick that helped the case against him when he was tried as a spy Jet hadn't understood his motives for getting involved again. Although they'd been friends for years the older former ISSP officer didn't know about Spike's past. And Faye had only been involved because she got greedy and wanted the large bounty that had been on Mao's head part of the trap to lure Spike out.

He just never liked people to get that close to him is really the only way the bounty hunter could explain it. While everyone else shared there pasts Spike kept his to himself only sharing about his eye to Faye. They'd all had an impact of his life though in some way or another and whether he realized it or not. "Of all the people ive met" his eyes started to close and the bounter hunter drifted off to sleep. Wishing his mind would play that movie once more time perhaps one last time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ported and reworked from my old FFnet account


End file.
